We Don’t See Each Other

There’s something Nigerians do a lot. Maybe you’ve never put a name to it, but once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.

Say you’re walking on a busy street or in the market. People are moving, car horns are blaring, the sun is doing its usual harsh glare and then the person walking right in front of you suddenly stops to check their phone.

Just like that! No warning. No step aside. They just pause like they’re the only one on the road, and now you’re either bumping into them or trying to also suddenly pause your motion so you don't fall and pour down someone's tomato market.

You sigh. Hmm!😤 You keep walking.

Another time, you’re at the supermarket, standing in line to pay. The person ahead finishes paying, collects their change, and for some reason decides that, that’s the perfect moment to start rearranging their handbag. Right there. Blocking the line for everyone behind.

Or maybe you’re in a danfo.😭 There’s a man literally shouting on the phone, talking so loud as though it's a conference call, explaining his life issues in full HD to total strangers crammed in a bus, all struggling for air and peace.

Let me not even get started with those that now watch reels/TikToks without using airpods or earphones.😭 Oh chim!

We’ve all seen it. We’ve all felt the urge to graciously slap some of these people.

Some of us, if we’re being honest, have even done it.😏

These little moments reveal something deeper about how people move through the world: we don’t always see each other.

Lack of NHA

I call it the Next-Human Awareness—the ability to notice the human beside, behind, or around you, and adjust your actions accordingly. And sadly, most people lack this awareness.

It’s not a fancy psychology term (yet), but it should be.

It’s the invisible social glue that makes life smoother in public spaces. It’s what makes someone step aside before answering a call. It’s what encourages a person to lower their voice in a shared room. It’s what makes you realize you're blocking the aisle and take just two steps forward.

It’s small, but powerful. And it’s rare.

But unfortunately, in our environment, we’ve normalized this behaviour. We keep bumping into each other—physically and socially—and just see it as nothing.

What to do?

Imagine if we started paying attention—just a little more. If we treated each crowded room, bus, or queue like a shared experience. If we acted like the stranger beside us was a real, breathing human with needs just like ours.

That’s all Next Human Awareness is. A little pause before the action. A little check-in before we move. The kind of thinking that says:

• “If I stop here, will someone bump into me?”

• “Does my conversation need to be this loud right now?”

• “How does what I’m doing affect the next person?”

So, for a change, we have to start teaching it, modeling it, calling it out when we see it.

Let’s make public life less stressful. Not by demanding kindness, but by practicing awareness.